Hacking the Body; starting the experiment

I've become very interested in Nootropics and "hacking" the body recently.  After listening to some podcasts with Tim Ferriss (http://www.fourhourworkweek.com/blog/) and Dave Asprey (http://www.bulletproofexec.com/) and hearing about their approach to life, working out, eating, and just living the things they said made a lot sense to me.  As a very brief overview, both have their own ideas but come together on a lot of things in practice.  Neither agree the FDA and conventional wisdom about health works.  Tim pioneered the slow carb diet which is basically eating nothing that could be white, no fruits, starting the day with 30 grams of protein within 30 minutes of waking up, and eating a ton of beans and veggies.  He's a master at using the MED (minimal effective dosage) to produce amazing results and has the independent science and research from UC Berkley, Harvard, and UC Davis, among others to back up his findings.  Dave made his first million at 26, spent $250k on testing his own body to prove his theories and has spoken at Wharton, Kellogg, and University of California.  Both have the science and continue to believe that the correlation of something doesn't mean the causation of something.  After looking looking at how I process things and learn I was on board.  I've believed that for a long while but I didn't seem to have or know how to acquire the tools to change certain things about me.  While always doing things my way I've succeed in some things and failed miserably in others.  But now I have a plan....

Background: I started my first "real" job doing data entry for a law firm making $14/hr.  This was fan-fucking-tastic to me when I signed on.  After 3 years and working my way up the later I made a move to get out of the business and production side to move over to developing Crystal Reports and databases; without ever writing code or having an understand of it before.  When I started learning to write code I was always at odds from the way my lead was doing things.  Most people who write code come from an MIS background; as you're building the code you build it in in an specific order, when problems arise or additions are needed you add a secondary table with the needed information and since this was an after affect you don't index it by the primary key nor do you have a single primary key, oid, or Dim_Skey to link to the main tables.  MIS developers build what is asked, but not necessarily what is needed.  Coming from the business side I would ask numerous questions of the end users and report writers to see how each table should interact with each other along with their purpose.  After 2 weeks of frustration the lead gave up on me.  So took the most basic code I could find and would change various pieces, I also took complex code and dissected small pieces to see what they did.  While this wasn't the optimal way of learning for some it gave me a great base.  If you understand what the code should do then changes or new additions aren't as daunting.  You approach things as a puzzle to solve not a problem to fix as soon as possible.  That was kind of a long way of getting to the current topic but here it is:

I've gone in and out of shape for the last 10 years.  My weight in the military was 128 at it's lowest and hovered around 155.
Right now I'm 223 but I've been as high as 240.  I could give you the excuse that my lower body is roughly built like an NFL linebacker while my upper body could easily been mistaken for the comic guy from the Simpsons, Benji Monlina or Seth Rogan most resemble it.  I've had 3 major injuries in the last year and a half: a torn left calf muscle, torn popliteal (which they thought was a torn ACL), and a broken elbow.  Getting older sucks dick.  To Now:
2007:                                                                          Now:

Monday I started walking to and from work.  It's not far, a little over a mile.  But I needed to start small.  Walking gave me a little more exercise than I was getting but it also set my mind in motion for planning my work day.  One the way home it gave me time to relax, figure what all I needed to do around my house and get familiar with the city and where I lived.  It took one day of this to convince me I needed to implement it full time.  I spoke to someone randomly in line at the samich (how it should be spelled) joint in our cafeteria and found out we have a gym with showers.  That cemented the idea even further and gave way to new possibilites.  Now that it's mid 40's when I leave for work at 630 I can walk and not be a sweat box that smells like ballsack all day.  Add to it that we have showers and my fat ass can now run (or gallop) the 1.2 miles to work.  Here's my plan and thought... It's ambitious to say the least but I'm motivated.

Goal Weight- 180
time: 27 weeks
Motivation: not be the fat American as I run with the MF bulls in Pamplona; and not to donate to a Superpac on the StickK site
Methodology:

Breaaakfast (say it as Jay did in Jay and Silent bob strike back and you'll have a smile every time): 30 grams of protein in 30 min of waking up. followed by Bulletproof Coffee (single source organic coffee, 1 Tablespoon of MCT oil, and 2 tablespoons or unsalted organic butter) sounds gross but its fucking delic!
Lunch and Dinner: some concatenation of beans with meat.  This is one is pretty easy since I don't eat veggies anyway.  But I do love Pho and Soup so that part blows.
Work out Goal: run to and from work 3x a week and kettlebells 3x a week.
Cheat Day: once a week to spike the levels

Drugs I'll take:
Protein powder  a combo of whey and hemp.  Hemp protein tastes whey better (get it) but costs more since we're retarded in the US and think Hemp is weed.
Pills:

• Fish Oil- 3,000 mg

• B-complex- 100mg of: B1, B6, B12
• New Mood (www.onnit.com): 15 mg of B6, 1000 iu d3, 25mg niacin, 150mg magnesium, 500mg l-trytophan, 100mg 5-HTP, 200mg Valerian, 200mg Chamomile, 100mg Lemon Balm, 100mg Jujube seed extract.
• Alpha Brain  (www.onnit.com)- 10mg B6, 100mg Alpha GPC, 40mg Hupezia Serratta, 5mg Vinpocetine, 350mg AC-11, 50mg Phosphatidylserine, 100mg Bacopa, 750mg Pterostidylserine, 300mg L-tyrosine, 200mg L-theanie, 100mg oat straw.
• Multi Vitamin
• PhenylPiracaetam- 100mg

And it starts, time to get less fat.... Results and updates to follow!

Honduras Wrap Up

It's been a week and I don't have a great excuse on why I haven't finished the re-cap of Honduras.  Well.... I guess better late than cliched never.

The last night we were there was kind strange.  Not for any real reason that one would think but mainly because at some point I was thinking about work and the outrageous amount of emails that I would have waiting for me when I got back in the office.  That's so lame to say.  Anyway.  Our taxi shuttle guy who spoke zero English and didn't come off as the happiest camper the first time we met was arriving for us at 2am the following day.  The travel company arranged it that way as it was one of the safest times to drive back through San Pedro Sula.  Since I knew we had a good 2.5+ drive back I decided to sleep/ snore the drive back since I wouldn't have to deal with the birds (or the Ex's as I've grown fond of calling them) waking me up.    I'd seen the night scenery through the country on the drive in and sleep sounded like the better choice.
We boarded the plane and since we had such a great flight down the Aether cursed us with a titan sized women who carried a lap baby screaming all flight two rows back.  My thoughts on children are well known, my thoughts on parents taking a baby on a plane without doping them up with Ambien are on par with another certain German's thoughts on the Jewish race.  Our only saving grace were noise canceling headphones (THANK YOU Bowers and Wilkins!!!), black out eye masks, and a 45 minute flight from Honduras to El Salvador.  After going through int'l security where they completely unpack your luggage, we had a short wait and then we boarded the next flight.  I am now a firm believer in "Flight Karma"; if one has a fantastic experience in the air it's going to be repaid by an equally shitty experience.  Sitting down I had agreed to give my travel partner the window seat (rookie move by me) so we settled in and set up our cameras and the GoPro to film the take off.  TACA airlines has a very lax policy on the whole "electronics can possibly cause a crash" deal.  And due to dating a person once who allowed me to ride a charted 747 and seeing other said passengers not turn off any electronics I know this to be a BS move.  Also if that freaks you out know that most flight attendants (and anyone with an ipad) rarely, if ever turn their phones off.  Flight rant complete, back to the flight.  As we wondered what the meal was going to be served a piercing wale came inching towards us; Honduran Damien from The Omen and his obviously deaf mother sat directly across from us.  Without missing a beat we both put the headphones on and instantly developed our own version of sign language with grunts, nods, and fleeting eye movement.  After the meal we both cranked up the music to drown out the hellion child and then arrived in Dallas.
Customs... ah the The US Customs Department.  After being last to get up to Customs I was told my passport was flagged.  After asking why they explained it was reported as "either being lost or stolen".  I was   taken and checked into a room with a guard and then I sat and waited.  After 30 ish minutes, where I assume my luggage was checked and re-checked, a guy came in and informed me my passport was reported lost or stolen but he was very vague, didn't say when, and couldn't exactly tell me when it was.  I was eventually allowed to leave and with my passport, but was told it was no longer valid and I'd have to purchase a new one.  Thinking about it afterwards I'm going to assume this is in relation to a certain incident involving "known past acquaintances" who are currently under federal indictment for allegedly selling weapons to Mexican Cartels.
In summation:
Honduras was a lot of fun and the company was great, yet I wouldn't go back anytime soon.  The transportation deal is a pain in the ass and the whole 160 murders per 100,00 people isn't the most comforting statistic when planning a Latin American adventure.  If those two items were taken out of the picture I would take a serious look at purchasing a vacation home in Honduras.  The people are some of the nicest in the world and the scenery is amazing.  A gorgeous beach on the Caribbean with the Pico Benito National Rain Forrest, a cloud Forrest and white water rafting is perfect scenery.  Model caliber non-self adsorbed women, fresh fish, crab, plantains, overflowing abundance of pineapple; all of these remind me of the perfect paradise.
I'm working on the next Int'l trip right now so if anyone has suggestions that aren't your typical locations (Paris, Rome, London, etc) I'll listen.  Right now it looks like it may be a South American country I haven't tried; Portugal is an option and Tokyo or Indonesia seems to be drawing my excitement too.

The Contrasting Personalities of Honduras pt 2

Day 3.  Again with the birds, only this time they started earlier.  If I would have had my Mossberg the scavengers of Honduras would have eaten well for a solid week.  Next time I'm bringing or buying a sling shot at the bare minimum.  On top of the birds we had to meet Mumbasa at the tourist station at 7:45am; I needed another hour of sleep and was cranky.  We originally planned to snorkel but the other party that was going with us cancelled so we didn't have enough people to make it worth the Captain's time to take us out.  We were a little bummed but we were able to go white water rafting instead.

Rafting was AWESOME!  By far the most exhilarating part of the trip, I'm working on editing the video for it which will give a great visual to accompany this with.  Just getting there was an experience in itself; it had been raining since 6:05 (when the birds shut the hell up) so the roads weren't in the best of shape getting to the Pico Bonito National Park.  We drove through a very poor section of the city before turning down a dirt "road" that was filled with pot holes and mini-lakes. On one side was the Cangrejal River and on the other was the village Will Smith and Martin Lawrence drove a Hummer through in Bad Boys 2. At one point the diesel van was almost stuck in 4" of water but Mumbasa was able to grind the gears and destroy enough of the tranny by going through drive and reverse like a dragster that we boiled enough water to separate us and re-corrected our path though the lake.  We then made our way up the side of the mountain, we asked it's name and he said "mountaino?" then asked how to say Mountain in English.  After narrowly missing a few families on Honda Spree scooters (that's where they go!!!) we arrived.  Our guides were fantastic and one was fluent in English while the other could say a few words but understood more than he could speak.  Both looked 17 at best which had us slightly nervous.  At this point the guide took us to the entry point after explaining that since the rain had been heavy we could go start with a section up the river made up of class IV and Class III rapids; I have never white water rafted.  We get to the entry spot and he informs us we are going to first learn how to survive if we fall out by jumping in the river, swimming as fast as we can towards the middle of the river and then flipping on our back and shooting the rapids floating on our vests.  Both my companion and I had a slight since of dread as neither of us had heard of this "learning" method.  She had been rafting before in Costa Rica and this wasn't part of their prep.  He gave us the instructions, jumped in and then singled us.  Agreeing with poor people's YOLO motto we followed suit.  Scary and fun... Luckily you are more worried about living then realizing what you are doing and the possible death surrounding you.
After mastering the CYA course we started with a class III and then promptly went into 2 class IV rapids.  Before you knew something was awkward about taking a Walmart reject inflatable kayak over a 3 meter drop in a third world country with two 17 year old guides a great smile and scream would come out in joy.  To the credit of the main guide he did stop once to ensure one section was safe for us.  Then we took off for them, but had to make a stop since he left his paddle on the shore.  We made it through all of the drops and glacier sized limestone for our break.
Stopping back at their outfit for some fresh pineapple, watermelon, and Cantaloupe and a breather we realized what just happened.  After chugging some mountain water one of the guides asked if I wanted to jump off the rocks into the rapids.  Having updated my life insurance policy and Will prior to going I made the decision this would be a good thing.  I asked how far down and he thought about it and replied "....7 meters?".  The other guide then corrected him and said it "10 meters down to the water, but not to worry it's very deep water with a good heavy flow".  In my mind this made it safer.... I still can't figure out how, but it did.  We walked over to the top of a ledge of limestone separated by the river and he explained exactly where to jump.  My colleague walked over and asked what we were doing right as he jumped; she looked down, took two steps back and said "FUCK THAT!"  I let her know I was definitely going to do it and she had just enough time to decide before I jumped.  Being a retarded American I have zero idea how far 10 meters down is.  Now the distance is permanently ingrained in my brain.  A 10 meter jump into water is just long enough for you to rethink your decision before hitting a river and then have the rapids carry you down stream.  Once I regained my bearings I looked back and she had followed me off the ledge.  We were sent into a slower section of the river where our guide was where I then asked if I could go again.  I had my GoPro strapped to my chest and wasn't sure if I got the footage.  Since I was worried more for getting the shot then my life I hiked back up the trail and jumped again.  Even scared of heights she again followed.
The rest of the trip down the Cangrejal was more talking then rapids.  We learned the guide that took us the rest of the way who looked 17 was really 37, but the other kid was 17 who had joined us earlier.  The owner of the outfit had found him in his village on the coast and brought him here for a better life.  The rain had stopped and the sun came out in force allowing us to see where the mountain went from jungle rain forest to a cloud forest at 3,800 meters up.  There was a waterfall piercing out of the side at around 1,800 meters that screamed to be repelled down.  Everything around us was reminiscent of postcards announcing the most beautiful places on earth.  We finished the river trip and headed back to the hotel worn out but wishing we could thank the party of four for cancelling snorkeling.

The Contrasting Personalities of Honduras pt 1

Everyone I know has an idea of what Honduras would be like, but no one that I've ever met has been there or talked about it.  They gave numerous comparisons to Costa Rica, or to Columbia or any other destination that seems to be more popular with tourism.  None of these quite fit what Honduras was.  The one characteristic that it does share with the above mentioned was the local pride.  Every Latin America country has an instilled a piece of her soul in each of her residents, this showed more so in Honduras than any other country I have visited.

Before we flew into San Pedro Sula we flew into San Salvador, El Salvador.  When the plane started it's decent into El Salvador all we could see were mountains and valleys covered in the most surreal green, the green a child uses when he only received the neon Crayola's and draws a Forrest.  The plane descends a little more and the green becomes more vivid, the rivers become wider, the fields are lush and the vegetation looks at any moment it could reclaim the houses and villages that surround it. When the movie scenery becomes almost too much the plane heads out towards the ocean and you see jungle give way to crystal blue water, then it veers left and arc's back towards the jungle to make it's final decent into an airport carved out of the jungle, barely keeping it at bay.  Getting off the flight my companion and I were still in shock of how rich the beauty of the jungle was compared to the flat nondescript faded yellow airport in El Salvador.  Our flight was delayed an hour giving us two hours to hang out in the airport.  After some much needed pupusas we drank a couple local beers and waited by the gate for the next leg of our journey.

Expecting to see the same mystical beauty coming from San Pedro Sula we were let down.  It was dim out and the airport was away from the city, we could small houses in the distance, lights from the city but a gorgeous jungle was not in sight.  Landing and going though customs in another airport built for function and utility, built like so many houses in this part of the world out of cement and cinder blocks with a stucco exterior.  After making it though customs we were hit with every bit of the 90% humidity my iPad had declared it would.  We were also well aware of the security with police everywhere.  San Pedro Sula is currently battling Ciudad, Juarez in Mexico for the lead of most dangerous cities in the world and even the Peace Corps has left Honduras due to it's danger.  With that in mind I'm extremely grateful I had pre-arranged for our transportation to La Ceiba.  Our driver was in plain Toyota mini-van and made our exit as quickly as possible.  Once on the road to La Ceiba he maintained 120 kph, never dropping below 80 kph.

As my travel partner slept I took in the nighttime scenery.  Every building had flood lights, metal security doors, minimum six foot high walls, and barbed wire or razor wire.  We drove past the University for Technology and you would have thought it was a converted prison.  Twelve foot barbed wire fences with extending razor wire, flood lights making the property appear as if it was noon, and guards armed with semi-automatic machine guns. Houses made of rotted wood the size of my sofa, cinder block homes no bigger than a Honda Civic, road side stands, all of these had security flood lights and bars on the window. Our driver would weave in and out of traffic with ninja like precision slowing only when military or police check points demanded it. A three hour journey was done in 2hrs and 28min and I was glad as we approached armed security guards in our gated resort around midnight.

The first full day we relaxed in the morning with a massage, the wear was shit.  It had been raining since 5:34 in the morning.  I know the exact time because prior to that every species of bird in the southern hemisphere was outside out door throwing the wildest cocktail party.  The rain finally shut them up and that is when I was able to get back to sleep.  Later that afternoon we took a taxi into town as my companion wanted to see the local markets to purchase souvenirs for people back in the states.  I don't go to flea markets here and since my friends have enough shot glasses and fake Micheal Korrs purses I went for moral support and to check out the architectural styles.  We told the cabbie to meet us back in two hours, which it turned out was about an hour and 30 minutes more than we needed.  He dropped us off in the center of town and we walked past numerous stands 4 blocks long and 2 blocks wide that housed almost the exact same thing as the previous stand.  Growing ever frustrated by their attempts to sell me Puma, Affliction, and Abercrombie shirts I was ready to jet.  That along with the little kids brush past me "accidentally" while attempting to feel if I had a wallet in my back pocket finally got the better of me and we walked to the rendezvous point early for a cold beer.  She had picked out the gifts she needed and our cab driver arrived 30 minutes early.  The market was similar to Trader's Village or Canton with one exception.  About every third or fourth girl would be a solid Dallas 8; tons of 6's and 7's all over the market too selling purses, beans, produce, etc- That blew me away.

Day two was almost the highlight of the trip, too bad it started with those asshole birds gawking at two freaking thirty and not letting up.  My companion was well aware of my wake the dead level snoring and brought ear plugs so she wasn't affected by the birds.  As repayment for her foresight I made her take the bed directly under the vent while I took the one on the other side of the room, leaving the AC on 50 and the overhead fan on.  The AC control was above the closet door and her 5'0 stature didn't allow her to adjust it to a sane temperature.  

Anything that involves speed and danger are things that I like.  They usually end up costing me a broken bone, a torn ligament or something similar but this time I went away unscathed.  We had deceived to go zip lining (if that's a real word) through the jungle.  It was a gorgeous day to spend flying across a rain forest on steel cables a kilometer long with no helmet and using work gloves as our "brake".  Since there were only two of us from our resort they paired us up with a group who were staying at an Eco Lodge not to far away. This group was about the same age as us but they all lived in the Cayman's and were on contracts as accountants there; 3 from South Africa, 2 from the UK, 1 from Brazil, and a Kira Knightly looking chick from Poland.  We all had a great time going through the zip lines and cracking up at each other's expressions when we'd pass each other in flight.  One zip line was a full kilometer long and a few were almost that.  Flying through the trees of the jungle, looking 50' down to the canopy floor and then seeing the Caribbean Ocean on your right is wonderful.  I'm so glad I live at a time where that is possible and allowed.  Since they didn't bother giving us helmets I strapped my GoPro on my head and filmed the whole thing.  18 canopy stations later we were led to a natural occurring hot spring where they would give us a massage and then a mud bath. During the zip lines I was flirting with Polish Kira Knightly but I didn't know she was from Poland, I thought she said UK.  Normally this wouldn't matter; things were progressing and going well.  When we all changed and hoped into the hot springs she was suddenly absent and would go out of her way to stay away from me.  I couldn't figure it out until later I learned she was from Poland and the tattoo of the German Flag on my arm gave her PTSD.  I sure did dig those black and pink hi-top Nike dunks she was rocking with shorts... Oh well.

God Speaks to Josh Hamilton

I hate when athletes bring in "the lord" on personal issues, "the lord" came to me in a dream and said to quit dip. Maybe I also came to you and said "you're a god damn (I can say my own name how I want, it's like black people being proud to say the n word but white people can't) retard who has no idea what you want in life so you use random occurrences of things that have nothing to do w each other make your decisions  Maybe be an adult and make your own decisions josh. Quit being a vag and deferring to me. I'm trying to get shit done that matters up here. Like make the best margarita. You know how long it takes to make the best margarita, lets just say in an eternity I haven't nailed it yet. Think about that josh.