Top 4 Christmas Movies
- Bad(er) Santa- It has to be the unrated directors cut. Without the unrated director's cut version so much is left out. It's a great movie; the kids name is Herman Merman, John Ritter's last movie, Bernie Mac, the dynamic of Marcus and his Asian Wife, the Grandmother wanting to always make sandwiches for everyone, and then the Gilmore Girls chick Jewish/ Christmas issues. A true Classic if there ever was one.
- Gremlins- A perfect 80's movie. Gizmo and Scar are the perfect Yin and Tang. Everyone in the world wanted a mugwai after watching Gremlins. Everyone that I knew even threw water on their stuffed Gizmo after getting it for Christmas and then swore they made Gremlins. Awesome Flick.
- Love Actually- 5 different stories converge into one. Keira Knightly is at her every hottest, there is a cranky (casually skanky) brunette with a bob like cut that is also very appealing and add to that the subtle British humor and varying plot lines that don't all end up wrapped with a pretty bow at the end.
- Die Hard- Bruce Willis in his prime! The famous line "Yippie Kay Yay Motherfuck" delivered by Alan Rickman in his best Hanz Gruber accent, Run DMC's 'Christmas in Hollis', a ginger lead female, and Family Matters Carl as Earl the donut driving cop are all awesome. Die Hard is one of the best action 80's movies ever. It's right up there with Road House, Conan, Predator, and the American Ninja series.
Worst 8 Vegetables
- Brussel Sprouts- steaming balls of baby spinach brains that reak. Nope!
- Beets- When I was in the 4rd grade my dad took me to Steak and Ale for the first time. In addition to whatever steak I ordered They had a salad bar that was 10 feet long with every vegetable known to man. Hating all of these I prepared to make my normal "salad" with croutons, bacon bits, shredded cheddar cheese, and ranch dressing. At the end of the bar laid some beets. I thought these were the jellied cranberry that I love so much at Thanksgiving and piled them on high, sat down and took a huge bit and then dry heaved and spit as I bolted to the bathroom. Beets suck.
- Green beans- no one likes these. If you have to add bacon to something to make it taste good it's a shitty food. Bacon makes everything great, but it still can't had the horrible taste and bad texture of green beans.
- Cauliflower- another food that tries to mask itself with awesome toppings like melted cheese. Throw some nacho cheese on them and they look almost edible. One bite in and you realize this freaking thing tricked you.
- Spinach- tree leaves, nope!
- Okra- Fake ass french fries. Oh we're deep frying veggies now to make them edible?
- Peas- crushed mashed green baby shit
- Kale- My friend Tae tried to convince me make kale shakes as a way to get veggies in. So I went to Central market and bough some kale. I went home and chopped it up- threw in some chocolate protein powder, a banana, some strawberries, and blended it up. One sip in and I swear a cat snuck into my apartment and ninja back flipped over me while simultaneously shitting in my mouth. Kale can suck it.
